RECOVERY GUIDE

Romance Scam Recovery — What to Do After Being Targeted

Updated July 2026 · 8 min read · By Silent Erase | ICO Registered C1971457

If you have been targeted by a romance scammer you are not alone and you are not stupid. Romance fraud happens to intelligent, successful people every single day. The criminals who run these operations are professional manipulators who spend weeks or months carefully building trust before stealing from their victims.

This guide covers exactly what to do in the hours, days and weeks after discovering you have been targeted by romance fraud.

First and most important:
Stop all contact with the scammer immediately. Block them on every platform. Do not send any more money under any circumstances — even if they threaten you, claim to be in danger or promise to pay everything back.

Immediate Steps — Do These Today

1
Stop all contact and block everywhere
Block the scammer on WhatsApp, email, social media and any other platform they used to contact you. Do not give them the opportunity to manipulate you further.
2
Contact your bank immediately
If you sent money by bank transfer call your bank's fraud line immediately — the number is on the back of your card. Ask them to initiate a recall. The faster you act the better the chance of recovery. New PSR rules mean banks must reimburse most APP fraud victims up to £85,000.
3
Do not pay recovery fees
If anyone contacts you offering to recover your lost money for an upfront fee they are also a scammer. This is called a recovery scam and it targets romance fraud victims specifically.
4
Preserve all evidence
Screenshot all conversations, profile photos, email addresses, phone numbers and payment details before blocking. You will need this evidence for police and bank reports.
5
Report to Report Fraud
Call 0300 123 2040 or visit reportfraud.police.uk. You will receive a crime reference number which you need for insurance claims and bank disputes. Every report helps build intelligence to catch these criminals.

Reporting — Who to Contact

Report Fraud
UK's national fraud reporting centre. Call 0300 123 2040 or report online at reportfraud.police.uk. Available 24/7.
Your Bank
Call the fraud number on the back of your card immediately. Under new PSR rules banks must reimburse most APP fraud victims. Be honest about what happened — they cannot help if they do not know the full picture.
The Dating Platform or Social Media Site
Report the scammer's profile to the platform. This helps protect other users and contributes to the platform's fraud intelligence. Most platforms have a dedicated report function.
Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)
If the scammer claimed to be based in the US or used US-based services report at ic3.gov. This feeds into FBI intelligence on romance fraud networks.

Can I Get My Money Back?

The honest answer is it depends. Under the Payment Systems Regulator's mandatory reimbursement rules introduced in October 2024, UK banks must reimburse most APP fraud victims up to £85,000 where you were deceived into making the payment. Both the sending and receiving bank share the cost.

Factors that help your case include reporting quickly, being honest with your bank about what happened, having evidence of the fraud and not having ignored warnings from your bank during the transfers.

If your bank refuses reimbursement you can escalate to the Financial Ombudsman Service at financial-ombudsman.org.uk.

Important:
Do not be embarrassed to tell your bank exactly what happened. Banks deal with romance fraud every day. Being honest gives you the best chance of reimbursement and does not reflect badly on you.

The Emotional Impact — You Are Not Alone

Romance fraud causes devastating emotional harm that goes far beyond the financial loss. Victims describe feeling stupid, ashamed, betrayed and grieving a relationship that felt completely real — even when they know intellectually it was fake.

These feelings are completely normal and valid. The relationship felt real because the criminals deliberately made it feel real. They are professionals at psychological manipulation. The fact that you were deceived says nothing about your intelligence or judgment.

Emotional Support Resources

Victim Support
Free confidential support for crime victims. Call 08 08 16 89 111 (24/7) or visit victimsupport.org.uk
Citizens Advice
Free advice on fraud recovery, financial rights and next steps. Call 0800 144 8848 or visit citizensadvice.org.uk
Mind
Mental health support if you are struggling emotionally after fraud. Call 0300 123 3393 or visit mind.org.uk
Samaritans
If you are in crisis call 116 123 (free, 24/7) or visit samaritans.org

Protecting Yourself from Being Targeted Again

After a romance scam your personal data often spreads further within criminal networks — meaning you may be targeted again from different angles. Taking steps to remove your personal data from data broker websites significantly reduces your risk of being targeted again.

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After a romance scam your data spreads through criminal networks. Silent Erase helps you generate and send GDPR removal letters across 55+ verified sites, with automatic sending and follow-up.

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